The Elevator
by RussianWolf7
Summary: I'm not sure why I put this in Hannibal, I just did. It's a crossover between Hannibal, Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Chicago and Pirates of the Carribean. Imagine a bunch of character's from those books movies all trapped together in an
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Clarice, Hanni, Velma, Roxie, Billy, Sam, Frodo, Minerva, Severus, Harry, Julius, Holly, Artemis, Jack, Anamaria or anyone else I might mention. I do own everybody you do not recognize.  
  
A/N: I came up with this idea as I was riding in an elevator to keep myself from going absolutely crazy. I hate elevators you see... Anyways, I hope you enjoy this mad bit of work...  
  
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Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling  
  
"Your session is now up. Good day," Doctor Lector said. Phyllis Dunlay was his last patient this Friday and she was definately his most annoying.  
  
"Goodbye Dr. Lecter. My hat is walking away and I simply must go get it," she said and walked out of his office slamming the door behind her. Hannibal sighed and started packing up for the three day weekend. He heard the door open and then shut again and sighed, assuming it was Dunlay. She did this a lot.  
  
"What is it Phyllis?" he asked not turning around. He did detest rudeness, but this time he didn't care. A pair of hands rested on his shoulders and started messaging him. He sighed contentedly, turned around and kissed his wife, Clarice Starling.  
  
"Hard day?" she asked sympathetically.  
  
"Phyllis Dunlay." Clarice nodded. "If she could just get it together enough to answer my questions!" Hannibal said, his voice rising.  
  
"Calm down. You know what happens when you get upset," she said soothingly, though slightly worried. He nodded and finished packing quickly, wanting to start his long weekend sooner rather than later.  
  
Velma Kelly, Roxie Hart and Billy Flynn  
  
"He'll represent ME in court!" Velma yelled at Roxie, throwing her pillow at her. She missed, however, because her right arm was in a cast.  
  
"No, he'll represent ME!" Roxie yelled back, throwing her pillow and Velma's at her.  
  
"Ladies, I can be both your lawyers," Billy Flynn said. Two days ago, Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart had gotten into a huge fight over who knows what that had landed Velma a broken arm and Roxie a broken leg. They were both suing and they both wanted Billy Flynn as their lawyer.  
  
"You will NOT be her lawyer!" Velma and Roxie yelled in unison.  
  
"Velma, Roxie, please. Can't we settle this at home instead of this hospital? People are starting to stare." That was a lie and the three of them knew it. From the time Velma and Roxie had woken up roughly a day and a half ago, they had been yelling and throwing various things at each other non-stop. People had stopped staring ages ago. Surprisingly, Velma calmed down at this.  
  
"Fine. Let's just get out of here," she said and swept arrogantly out of the room with Roxie and Billy at her heels.  
  
Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall  
  
"Don't leave me here!" Harry Potter yelled hysterically, clinging to Professor McGonagall's cloak. After spending three days alone confined to his bed in a muggle hospital, Harry was about to snap. Or maybe he already had.  
  
"Harry! Calm down! We'll get you out of here as soon as we can!" Minerva said, wrenching her cloak from Harry's grasp.  
  
"Or not," Snape muttered under his breath icily.  
  
"Severus..." Minerva warned. She turned back to Harry. "We just need some thing's we hadn't anticipated. We'll be back as soon as we can, but I'm afraid we have to go now."  
  
Minerva and Severus then walked out of the room; or rather Severus pulled Minerva out.  
  
"I hate him. The stuck up little twerp, always wants attention..." Severus continued to mutter things like this until they finally go to the elevator.  
  
Jack Sparrow  
  
Jack glanced at the clock for what must've been the ten thousandth time in the past hour. He brightened. It was five. He raised his hand.  
  
"Yes, Jack?" Ms Johnson said. She was the head of the AA meeting.  
  
"It's five. Can we go now?" Jack said, trying not to sound like a pirate.  
  
"Oh! Of course! See-" Jack didn't bother to hear the rest of her goodbye and walked quickly out of the room. Alcoholics Anonymous, Jack thought. More like Ancient Asses. He was the youngest person there by about ten years. He cursed Anamaria again for making him go, but once again he reminded himself that he would rather have Anamaria than rum. He sighed dramatically and pulled out the flask of rum he always had in his coat.  
  
Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee  
  
"Does it hurt much Mr Frodo?" Sam asked for the thousandth time.  
  
"No Sam! It's fine!" Frodo yelled. Sam cowered and that caused Frodo to laugh. "It's ok, Sam. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Frodo had just had the One Ring surgically removed from his finger because he had had an allergic reaction to it and his finger had swollen up so much he couldn't get it off. The doctors had complained about operating on an invisible patient, but they had somehow managed. Now, Frodo was still invisible. Nobody understood why, but they thought that during the surgery some of the ring's power had seeped into him.  
  
"You didn't, Mr Frodo. Not much, at any rate," He said, and turned to where he thought Frodo was.  
  
"I'm over here," Frodo said, and Sam turned around. "No, not there, Sam! Over here!" Frodo's voice now came from the opposite direction.  
  
"Mr Frodo! Don't do that! It's makes it frightfully hard to make sure your safe and I promised Mr Gandalf..."  
  
"I know! You promised Gandalf that you'd watch over me. Just relax, Sam!" Frodo interrupted. "I'll be back to normal soon enough!" Sam felt a weight on his shoulder that he took to be Frodo's hand.  
  
"I'm sure you will," Sam said, reassuring himself more than Frodo. "I'm sure you will..."  
  
Holly Short and Julius Root  
  
"Ok, so could you just run through your story once more?" Holly Short said, her voice layered with the mesmer. She didn't need to be using it, Artemis was lucid enough under all of the medicine's the doctors were giving him.  
  
"I was in my backyard having a picnic with Juliet. I took a bite of my apple and thought it tasted funny. I didn't say anything to Juliet. The next thing I remember was waking up here," Artemis Fowl II said in the flat voice that marked someone who was under the mesmer.  
  
"I don't buy it," Holly said to her commander, Julius Root, as soon as they were out in the hall. "Artemis wouldn't have a picnic-"  
  
"Holly, he's changed. Accept it!" Root interrupted.  
  
"-in the middle of winter. Has he really changed that much?" Holly asked, finishing her sentence.  
  
"Well, no, but you used the mesmer. It's not like he could by lying," Root said, puzzled.  
  
"I know that, but he was admitted to the hospital last night. Foaly looked up the weather in Fowl Manner. It was snowing. He wouldn't be having a picnic in a blizzard! I just don't get it!" Holly fumed. Root put an arm around her and she calmed down, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Neither do I, Holly. Neither do I."  
  
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I know this part was kind of boring and all over the place, but it'll make sense in the next chapter. Well, actually, it won't, but it will all come together...  
  
Click the light purple button to reply. 


	2. Getting In

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, Lord of the Rings, Hannibal, Chicago, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean or anything else. Well, I do own some of the characters, but not many. You'll know which because you don't recognize them. Well, Courtney is a friend, but other than that . . .  
  
A/N: I am SO sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but I've been doing other stuff. At any rate, here's the next chapter.  
  
And thanks to SlowChemical77 for stuff.  
  
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Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling  
  
Hannibal walked down the hall, bag in one hand and his other arm around Clarice. They weren't talking about anything; they didn't need to. They had been together for the past ten years and even though they had always been close, everybody who knew them thought that they shared a soul, or something like that. At any rate, they didn't often talk and now as they were walking down the hall, they both knew that Hannibal was trying to calm down.  
  
"Hannibal?" Clarice asked.  
  
"Mmmm?" he responded, his mind already planning what they were going to do.  
  
"Is there anything about Phyllis that might make you understand why she's so messed up?"  
  
"No. That's precisely why she's so confusing. I think that she's just one of those people who goes around insane but doesn't hurt anyone and is completely happy with their state. Why?" Hannibal answered.  
  
"I was just thinking if maybe she had an injury or something that caused part of her brain to stop working," Clarice said.  
  
"Not that I know of. From what her file says and the very little I've managed to get out of her, she's just always been like this," Hannibal replied.  
  
"Mmmm," Clarice said, sighing. They had reached the elevator and she pushed the down button, wondering how long the elevator would take to get here. The hospital was huge and they were on the top floor, so it could sometimes take up to five minutes. This time, it only took about three seconds and they got into the empty carriage and presses parking, hoping that not a lot of people would get on.  
  
Velma Kelly, Roxie Hart and Billy Flynn  
  
"Velma! Wait up!" Billy called from behind her. Roxie was in a wheelchair, and he didn't trust Velma enough to wheel Roxie around, so he was stuck with the job. Velma, being herself, was walking quickly and completely ignoring the fact that Billy and Roxie couldn't go as fast as her.  
  
"Why don't you hurry up?" Velma said and continued to stride much faster than Billy.  
  
"Because Roxie'll fly out of the chair!" Billy responded, trying not to yell. As much as he liked Velma, she had a habit of gettin under ones nerves.  
  
"So?" Velma spat. She did, however, slow down, but only because she knew that if was too annoying, Billy wouldn't be her lawyer.  
  
"Thank you," Billy said and pushed Roxie up to where Velma was standing. She started to walk again, but slower this time, staying at Billy's side. After two minutes of silence, they reached the elevator. Velma pushed the down button and waited impatiently, one hand on her hip and her toes tapping. After what seemed like ages, the door opened. There were already two people in there, both looking tired and overworked. Velma strode into the car and barely moved aside enough for Billy to wheel Roxie in. He hit the parking button even though it was already lit up and the doors closed.  
  
Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall  
  
Severus strode several paces ahead of Minerva, his long cape swishing out behind him and causing Minerva to have to be careful not to trip.  
  
"Why do you hate Harry so much?" Minerva asked, coming up next to him. She knew the answer, but liked to push Severus' buttons, especially of campus where she wouldn't get into trouble for it.  
  
"Because he's a stupid goodie-goodie who meddles in things that aren't his business which generally lead to big trouble. It's mere chance that things usually turn out ok," Severus said icily, not yelling but in a voice that would send shivers up your spine if you weren't used to it. Minerva was.  
  
"That's not true. He tries to help people and if he sometimes gets into trouble, that isn't his fault. He's brave, loyal and generally a good friend, even if he does have a short temper that gets him into trouble sometimes," Minerva rebutted. "Besides, wouldn't you rather have him on our side than Voldemort's?"  
  
"I suppose, but he's such a nuisance, I'd rather have him out of the way and on nobody's side," Severus said.  
  
"He might win this war for us. Would you rather us loose?" Minerva replied, still pushing a matter that she knew was very sensitive with most wizards, but especially Snape.  
  
"No! Now could you please stop questioning me? You know that I'm on the good side," Snape said and finally got to the elevator. He pushed the button and the doors opened almost instantaneously. There were five people in the elevator, one in a wheel chair, three looking exhausted and one looking as though she owned the world. They got in the elevator and were surprised by how much room was still left even with that many people inside. The doors closed behind them and everyone present could feel the elevator start going down.  
  
Jack Sparrow  
  
Jack swaggered down the halls swaying slightly and drinking. He couldn't wait to get back to The Black Pearl where he could be himself, dress in his normal clothes, be with Anamaria and be free of those bloody AA meetings. Jack stopped for a second at a vending machine and looked to see if they had anything worth getting like some rum. Of course, they didn't and Jack continued on, stopping occasionally to take a bigger swing from his flask which was scarily close to empty. He decided to stop at a tavern on the way back to The Black Pearl to refill it and maybe get a couple of mugs while he was at it.  
  
He finally approached the elevator and pressed the down button. While he was waiting, a nurse walked by and he smiled at her, not able to resist putting on his charm, even if he did have Anamaria. She nurse giggled and smiled back.  
  
"What's your name, luv?" Jack slurred.  
  
"Courtney," She said, smiling. The elevator doors opened.  
  
"Well, Courtney, I really must be going but the next time I'm here, I'll be sure to stop by," Jack said and stepped into the elevator. He winked at Courtney as the doors closed and went back to drinking, ignoring the stares of the passengers who were already on the elevator, including one very odd man who was staring at Jack hungrily and a younger woman who was telling him soothingly to calm down.  
  
Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee  
  
"Mr Frodo?" Sam said nervously when he heard Frodo's hand lift off from his shoulder.  
  
"Hang on a second, Sam. I want to get some candy," Frodo's voice said from over by the vending machine.  
  
"You could've asked me to get some for you," Sam said and walked over to the machine.  
  
"No, I'm quite capable of doing it myself," Frodo's voice answered. The machine started whirring and a Hershey's bar fell from its loop. The plastic thingy at the bottom got pushed inward by Frodo's invisible hand. The candy bar disappeared when Frodo picked it up and Sam could hear the sounds of it being unwrapped and then getting eaten as he walked down the hall by Frodo's side. Or what he thought was Frodo's side.  
  
"Mr Frodo? Are you here?" sam asked nervously.  
  
"Yes, Sam, of course I'm here," Frodo answered reassuringly and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "You have to stop worrying. I'm going to be fine."  
  
"I hope so, Mr Frodo," Sam said and pushed the down button on the elevator pad thingy.  
  
"Of course I will," Frodo said just as the door opened. The eight people already in the elevator stared.  
  
"Who said that?" an older man asked, slightly panicked.  
  
"Oh, this is Frodo Baggins," Sam said, laying one hand on Frodo's shoulder.  
  
"Where?" asked a tall woman with jet black hair.  
  
"He's invisible because of an evil ring," Sam explained and got into the elevator.  
  
"That sounds perfectly reasonable to me," a man who reeked of cheep beer slurred. Sam guided Frodo to the other side of the elevator. The doors closed and the elevator continued its trip to down to the parking garage.  
  
Holly Short and Julius Root  
  
"I just don't get it!" Holly said again, this time louder.  
  
"Neither do I, but there isn't anything we can do about it now," Root responded, trying to calm his officer down.  
  
"There has to be something that we're missing! Some ancient way to make sure somebody even under the mesmer can tell you anything!" Holly yelled, and wrenched her copy of the book from around her neck and started pouring over it. Root put an arm around her and steered Holly so she wouldn't bump into anything.  
  
"Holly, we both have the book practically memorized. There isn't anything in there about ways to deflect the mesmer," Root said practically. "It might be that we're in a hospital above ground during the day. Your magic probably isn't as strong. When was the last time you did the ritual?"  
  
"Umm . . . I don't know," Holly admitted.  
  
Root groaned. "I told you to do it regularly."  
  
"I have been! Just not recently. It's a lapse, ok?" Holly said, a tad more harsh than was needed. She took a deep breath. "Sorry, sir."  
  
"It's ok. Just promise me, next full moon you'll do it," Root said.  
  
Holly nodded and pushed the down button for the elevator. When it came, it was pretty crowded so she decided that if anybody else came into it, she could hover above everybody else. Root got in after her and hit the close doors button, hoping that they would get home soon. 


End file.
